I just want to have on record that this was the week that Jackson started his terrible two’s. He is 21 months old.
What happened to easy going sweetie? He is so volatile all of the sudden. I can’t believe what things cause him to start screaming. For a long time, I was able to reason with him about things and he hardly ever got upset. Not anymore. It is a lot of work to smooth over a situation where he is mad or frustrated.
I am having a heard time knowing what to do in a given situation, if I need to be more loving and coaxing, or if I should be more firm and disciplining. He is too young to really understand disciplining. I have tried timeouts but he doesn’t get it. I think putting him in his crib would work for time out, but I don’t want him to associate being in his crib with being in trouble. We are already having a hard time with extended night time routines because he doesn’t want to go to bed, I don’t want to add another reason why he doesn’t want to be in his crib.
Other terrible two behavior I have seen is a huge increase in mischief. I didn’t know a kid that young could be purposefully mischievous. It doesn’t help that he thinks it is hilarious when I try to stop him. Sacrament meeting was pretty bad today. The entire time he was trying to escape and screaming when we pulled him back into the pew.
I need some advice on how to handle this age. Maybe a book, website, or what has worked for you.
I think this kid has huge amounts of energy and craves attention even if it is negative attention. So I think I need some strategies to handle a few different problem times.
1) When he does something naughty on purpose to get attention. I would just ignore him to extinguish the behavior, but the naughty things usually involve something dangerous, yucky, or property destruction.
2) When he wants something, wants to go somewhere, or do something and the answer is no. He usually won’t listen and will keep insisting on doing/getting whatever he wants and will escalate into screaming when I keep saying no. Lately he has been screaming after the first time I say no. I know not to give into tantrums so they learn that’s not how to get what they want, but is there a good way to calm him down?
3) At bedtime lately, there has been a lot of crying and Jackson seems to be prolonging his bedtime routine out so he doesn’t have to go to bed. Some of his strategies to get us back in the room include screaming, making himself throw up, throwing his beloved binky and blankey out of his crib, and always asking to sing more songs. I suppose we could do cry it out again, but the making himself throw up thing is the problem.
I think I will leave it with those three situations. Please give me advice if you have experience with these things and what helped.
5 comments:
I don't personally have any advice having not reached this stage myself but I do like the show Supernanny and feel like she works well with even young kids with discipline and night time routines. I've watched some of the shows on Hulu and seems like her methods can make a difference in even very difficult children who have gone years without much or any discipline. Anyways, that's my two cents, and again, I don't know anything!
Beat him.
KIDDING! Yikes. I'm only behind you with a baby here. I have no advice :(. However, I remember watching Dr. Phill, hehe, and he recommends this woman's book on child discipline. Go to his website? Sorry. You'll figure it out!
From me: I'd read Colin's baby book and talk to his mom (if this isn't what you acted like as a child). She may have some advice for you (from Jon, one of Colin's friends from HS). From the wife and baby maker: as far as the bedtime routine, cry it out. Do what you normaly do and leave. If he throws up, obviously go clean it up, but then leave. Let him know that you still love him verbally, and walk back out the door. It's tough, but he'll get over it (hopefully) within two weeks (my kids did it for about 2 weeks). Good luck! And also: make his room completely safe for him and then put a lock on the outside of his door. That way you can have your few minutes when you've just had way way too much to deal with. And that will help him learn how to solve his own problems too. This was my lifesaver with our son. About once a day I just needed that few minutes, and that was the only way I could get it. He destroyed his room a few times, and then realized I was serious, so started playing instead. Hope this helps. Lots of Love and Luck!
Hang in there! Daniel had a bad streak around that age, too- it comes and goes.
First, he's NOT too young for discipline- it's just hard to find the right thing. Daniel's been doing timeouts since just after he turned one- short ones, but still enough to remove him from the situation, even if he doesn't always seem to get cause/effect. He does his time-out, then after words we discuss what happened and how to not let it happen again- even when he was obviously too young to understand, it seemed to help to just remove him from the situation (give myself a breather) then give him some way to move on.
I agree, don't use the crib, but do you maybe have a pack-n-play you can stick him in?
A lot of the tips/advice I've gotten that have helped- with the naughty-for-attention thing, rather than ignore, maybe try redirecting him to some way he can get positive attention.
Consistency is HUGE. Daniel will "selectively hear" when I say "no" but when I count down 3-2-1 he knows that without a doubt when I get to 1, something bad will happen- no matter what the situation, I have NEVER gotten to 1 without following through with a punishment (timeout or removal of something he wanted). It did not take long for 3-2-1 to work like a charm every time because it's so predictable for him, whereas me just saying "no" over and over again still doesn't have much affect cause he knows I can repeat it endlessly.
I've read Love and Logic, Happiest Toddler on the Block, and How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will Too (my favorite of the three) and while they all have good advice, I can't find a book that really addresses the 1-2 year old set. The very best advice I've gotten is that you just have to be patient- spanking your kids will have obvious and faster results, but consistent parenting and self-esteem building will give longer-term results- if you can just make it through the terrible twos, knowing that it's a time for boundary-pushing and learning limits and that the things they learn now, even if they don't show they're learning, will be very apparent in 3-4 years.
But he's so cute....
Post a Comment