Unspoken Rules

Post Disclaimer: This post is long and wordy. I was trying to go for witty and informing social commentary, but it might just be complaining.

I believe everyone has a set of social rules they try to stick by. Everyone’s rules are slightly different, so sometimes we have interactions with other people where we think “sheesh!”. A good example is that I have a very large personal space bubble and feel very strongly about not entering into other people’s bubbles, which I imagine are the same size as mine. I am constantly guiding Jackson to not be in someone else’s way and sometimes I find myself doing it to Colin. I know that sounds crazy to do to another adult, but for some reason it is a compulsion with me. Anyway, the most unnerving thing in the world for me is to be in a store and have a stranger encroach on my personal bubble. I understand a little when an isle is super crowded, but really, the polite thing to do is to wait until I am out of the way, or even say “I’m going to reach right here by you” so I know you’re coming and that I know that you are aware that you are entering my bubble. 

 

So being a stay at home mom, I am frequently at parks and settings where there are other moms and kids we don’t know. It feels like there is a set of unspoken playground rules that mom’s try to stick to to make sure the kids are being nice, safe, and everyone’s happy. Yesterday, I was at a park where a mom broke at least three rules. It was just shocking. (I hope you can tell I am not being that serious).

The first rules she broke was that she wasn’t supervising her kid; she was off a ways talking on her cell phone. This kid is about 2 years old. So I found myself supervising her kid because he wanted to play with Jackson. At one point he tried to push Jackson backwards down a very tall slide.

The next rules she broke were once she was off her cell phone (20 minutes later) she came up to me to chat. Chat isn’t actually what I would call it. More like talk my ear off. I am friendly and enjoy talking to people I don’t know, but good conversations have something called balance. So the first thing she started talking to me about was how awful her child was and listed all the things he colored on, spilled and destroyed that day, concluding with “I spanked him”. I think the rule she broke here is similar to my rule that you don’t talk bad about your husband with other women. The exception to the don’t complain about your kid rule, is if you are trying to get help or suggestions from another mom on how to fix certain bad behaviors.

Finally, something that resembled a conversation started and the normal what’s his name? how old is he? questions were asked. I remarked that her son, being 2 years and 4 months old, talked very well. It was at that point that she began the speech on how incredibly advanced he was. At one point she said “I think he’s a genius” and I snickered because who says that? Turns out she was dead serious. I didn’t feel too bad about laughing. So the rules she broke here was the excessive bragging about your own kid to another mom you don’t know with a kid the same age. I now know all about how her son speaks at the same level as a 4 year old, is almost potty trained, understands everything she says, etc. What did she learn about Jackson? His name and age.

So, what can we learn from this mom? Be nice and respectful, don’t complain, don’t brag, and watch your kid. Here’s some pictures of the park; it’s Highland Glen Park.