Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Our Loss

This may seem like an odd thing to blog about, but I am trying to process things in my mind and I suppose if I write about it, it becomes more real. I had a miscarriage this morning. I was 11 weeks pregnant. Physically, I am doing okay and already feel much much better. Emotionally, I am not really comprehending what just happened. I have dealt with bigger losses before, but this is different. The hardest part is that I saw this baby in an ultrasound. I saw her heart beating. I have a picture of her on my wall and that what makes it real and heartbreaking. 

There are few things that make it easier; having Jackson is a huge comfort. I can only imagine how hard this would be if I was dealing with worrying about if I will ever have kids. I am also grateful for the priesthood blessing Colin gave me at 3:00 this morning, which I think is the reason I am holding it together as well as I am. I feel great comfort in that Heavenly Father loves me and he has a plan for me.

8 comments:

amy phillips said...

Katrina, Colin, and Jackson,

We love you so, so very much! Our hearts ache with yours. We are praying for you. We know prayer works to make things better.

Much love,
Amy, Autumn, and Jonathan

Anonymous said...

I feel Amy has said it best, my heart aches for you. My prayers are with you too.

Chelsea said...

I am so sorry to read this post! I have no idea what your going through, and could only imagine how hard it must be. Hang in there!

Melissa said...

I am so sorry to see this, Katrina! Almost two years later, I still struggle sometimes with our loss. It will always be something that sits on your heart forever! If you ever need to talk, I am here for you!

The Halls said...

Oh Katrina, I am so sorry. My prayers will be with you and your family.

Julie said...

It could be awhile till you want to talk about it but I am here and can feel your pain. I'm so sorry and wish I had the right words to say. You are both in our thoughts and prayers.

Amanda said...

So sorry Katrina. What a sad thing to have to go through. I'll be thinking about you! Glad you have your family and the gospel to support you though.

Anni Winings said...

We feel for you. I went through the same thing, only it was my first pregnancy. I hope you're doing okay now.