Many of you know our battle with sleep. I decided that crying it out was the only way Jackson was going to learn how to sleep. This was a very difficult decision for me but I didn’t know what else to do. So last night we put him in his crib wide awake with no pacifier and said good night. He began to cry, as expected, but then something happened I did not expect. After five minutes of crying he stopped. I could hear him moving around for a few minutes and then silence. I thought he must be dead so I snuck into his room to check on him. There he was curled up and fast asleep. I had prepared myself for hours of crying the first night. Nothing in my wildest dreams had prepared me for this. The rest of night he cried out about 5 different times but quickly quieted down and went back to sleep on his own.
I didn’t sleep much at all last night, even though Jackson did. I am so used to having my little buddy there in bed with me. I couldn’t stop thinking and worrying about him. I find it ironic that Jackson is going to perfect this sleeping thing over the next few days while I will probably still be struggling to sleep on my own. I am very hopeful and look forward to doing some of the things we have missed out on over the past year (i.e. sleeping).
I feel so foolish for not trying this earlier, but there was nothing in all I was trying to do with him that indicated that he would just go to sleep on his own. I am trying hard to figure out all the lessons in this. The biggest one is that I need to have more faith in the abilities of my child and make sure that I never hold him back again. Another lesson is about faith, works, and humility. I have said so many prayers related to Jackson sleeping over the last year and I thought I was doing my part, but nothing was changing. I think the problem was I just wanted to do it my way, the way I thought was best, and I wasn’t open to change, trying or learning something new. It wasn’t until I humbled myself and opened myself up to other possibilities and had a different kind of faith was Heavenly Father able to do anything. I can say that I feel very humbled right now. I guess I was reminded that I am still a young, first-time mom that has much to learn. I am very grateful to Heavenly Father for his love and care of me and my little family.
2 comments:
I'm so happy it worked out so well! Celeste has a message for Jackson: "Jackson, you are my idle! You're such a big boy. I look up to you in so many ways. Good job!"
I'm so glad yours and Jackson's cry-it-out experience was a success. That makes me so happy for you. Whenever Wes wakes up at 2:30 crying (which is a rare occasion) and I have to stay up with him for an hour, I always think of you and how I could never go without sleep for as long as you have. That takes some crazy patience!
I think it continually gets harder to let go of that little baby I used to have, but it's something that needs to be done for them to progress. But it only gets better. Wes just learned how to give hugs and kisses, which makes up for lots of things I had to let go for him to turn into a big boy. I'm rambling. It's late. I'm just so happy for you. :)
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